Playing: Infamous – Second Son Watching: Game of Thrones Listening to: Foo Fighters
Being a first-time parent of a 1 month old I have come to realize that finding time to snuggle with my video game consoles is becoming more and more difficult. Instead of battling my way through waves of zombies or pulling off heists, I’m battling my way through waves of formula and pulling off crap-stained onesies. Being a new dad is a big challenge. So when I’m able to put my little guy successfully to sleep at night or keep him calm through a belly ache I get a real sense of accomplishment and growth.
So I’ve decided that, inspired by these moments of victory, I would create a list of achievements that new dads like me can use to give ourselves a power-up when maybe we’re finding parenthood to be a real challenge. Nothing worth doing is ever easy, and we deserve to reward ourselves for a job well done. So here you go, dads. Our first list of Dad Achievements!
Nap Ninja – 10 Dad Points:
Rock your baby to sleep and complete a transfer to the crib without alerting him/her.
Diaper Genie – 15 DP:
Successfully complete a chain-combo of ten diapers in a row with no help from your wife.
Flash Bang – 15 DP:
Follow a bottle feeding with both a fart and a burp. From the baby. Not from you.
Pacifiers are for Suckers – 20 DP:
Survive a level 5 power tantrum without the aid of a pacifier.
Escort Mission – 20 DP:
Complete a shopping trip at Target while avoiding detection from elderly cheek-pinching women.
So there you have it, our first five Dad Achievements. Like I said, I’m new at this game and my son is only a level one baby, so the more experience I get at this the more achievements I’ll be able to share with all of you Mega Dads out there.
Life is fun and we might as well make a game out of it, right? So the next time you’re changing a diaper that smells like a burning cat remember this: you’re not just wiping that ass, you’re gaining experience!
Do you have a Dad Achievement you’d like to share? Want to tell us your Dad Score? Sound off in the comments section below!