B-Squad: Behind The Music

john_head By: John

Playing: Pikmin 3     Watching: 24 Live Another Day

 In the fall of 2013 the next generation of video games began. The Playstation 4 and Xbox One ushered in an exciting new age of gaming with amazing new possibilities. And soon enough we’ll be unhooking our old systems to make way on our entertainment centers for the future. Our Xbox 360 will go into the closet. Our Playstation 3 will be boxed back up and tucked away. And as we move on from that generation of gaming we will move on from something else. The era of the rythym music game. The trend that began with Karaoke Revolution and Guitar Hero was amazingly popular and I don’t know if I’ve ever had more fun as a gamer (or spent more money) as I did during those times. No matter what the occassion was, we would use it as an excuse to get together and play Rock Band. This is the story of those years rocking out in our basements.

This is B-Squad: Behind The Music.

It was November 2007 and four friends were coming together with an idea. An idea to bring together all  styles of music to form a cover band super group. Each member had their unique tastes that when brought together would create the Voltron of musical groups. But what they couldn’t possibly have know on that cool autumn afternoon is that they weren’t just forming a band, they were making history. On that day they would do nothing less than give birth to the greatest pretend rock band of all time. But before they could embark on this quest they would need a name. From that day forward they would collectively be known as… B-Squad.


Cocoa Kristy – Bass. She was the very definition of cool and collected. Once she found that groove it was like she was transported to another world. She became one with the baseline.

Mama Sassafrass – Lead vocals. The wild outifts and punk rock hair masked a quiet soul on the inside. She was calm and introverted until she hit the stage. And then she was like a wild beast set free from her cage.

The Old Cowboy – Drums. Mystery lurked underneath those aviator shades and bushy beard. Nobody knew his real name or where he came from. Legend says he made a deal with the devil to become the most awesomest drummer of all time.

Johnny Hotsauce – Lead Guitar. The wild man. Destroying hotel rooms and getting in fist fights was as much a part of the show as shredding guitar solos. And nobody was better at doing all three.


Their first shows were a little rough around the edges. Small gigs followed by trips to the Thriftway were the norm. It took awhile for each of them to gel together and find their roles but once they did they slowly started to climb the online leaderboards. They began to develop a fanbase based on their ecclectic mix of songs. Their shows would consist of everything from classic rock to blues to metal. From the heart pounding drums of ‘Run to the Hills’ to the piercing guitars of ‘More than a Feeling’  to the booming vocals of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. There was no DLC they couldn’t master and soon they were on a meteoric rise to the top of the charts. 

Their fame seemed to hit it’s apex in 2010 when their shows reached a level of spectacle that hadn’t been seen before. Their instruments may have been plastic but their hearts were pure metal. The lights and smoke filled the room night after night and the bands onstage behavior became wild and  unpredictable due in no small part to their tendancy to drink heavily in between songs. It wasn’t unheard of for shows to be cut short because of broken instruments or one of the band having passed out drunk. It made for some unforgetable shows but that living on the edge lifestyle would soon become a liability to the groups future.

The members of B-Squad weren’t getting any younger and the wild life that they had been accustomed to didn’t have the same appeal that it did when they were in their twenties. Soon things began to settle down and by 2011 Johnny Hotsauce and Mama Sassafrass had two small children together and Cocoa and the Cowboy were thinking of a family of their own. It was becoming more and more difficult to find time for the music. Long stretches of time passed between gigs and by 2013 B-Squad was all but finished. All of the bandmates still remain best of friends but the glory days of Jaegermeister, Jacks Pizzas and Rock and Roll have been traded in for juice boxes, lunchables and lullabies.

They often times still get together for a drink and to reminisce about the old times. The nights spent with their tiny instruments rocking into the wee hours of the morning. And every once in awhile they wonder aloud about returning. Coming out of retirement to fulfil their destiny. Of once again sitting atop the throne and claiming their title. The title of the greatest pretend rock and roll band in all of history.

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