Playing: The Last of Us Remastered Watching: The Flash Listening to: Mike and Tom Eat Snacks (podcast)
I seem to be growing up and I can’t stop it. Part of my identity for my whole life has been my ability to stay a kid, whether it’s playing video games, loving superheroes, or even just having a playful personality. Being a kid has always just been what I’m all about, even in my adult years. But these last couple of years I find myself… growing up.
It kind of stuck in my head that things were changing when my mother said to me this past weekend, “Adam, I can’t believe you’re a father”. I’ve been a dad for 4 months now, so it seemed like a funny thing for her to say. But I thought about those words and how what she was really telling me was that I was changing. Not just by having this child, but by how he has started shaping me.
Being a husband and a dad has given me cause to think about things differently. Two years ago I chose to go back to school, and just this week I began a new job in my area of study. An actual career building job. These things are hard, stressful and demanding. But I continue to push myself down this path because I want the best life that I can have for me and my family.
This is all very serious stuff and not at all the kind of thing that I’m comfortable with. To be perfectly honest sometimes it scares me that I’m moving into this new chapter of life and I’m not ready to go. It’s easy to look back on all of the fun things that I don’t do anymore, throwing a movie on when I’m bored, playing games for hours on end, going out drinking for happy hour. But when life changes like this, and as you age, the things that you want to do are just… different. Many of those things just don’t appeal to me as much anymore. I’d rather fall asleep with my wife on the couch. I’d rather squeeze my son’s cheeks. I find my joy in these new things.
But it’s scary. Because I don’t want to change who I am or lose the things that make me young at heart. And I don’t think that I have to. It’s important to find time to smile and have fun even when the stress of life might be getting to you. As a husband I can still play co-op video games with my wife and worry about the bills. One doesn’t cancel out the other. We can watch Captain America on date night and still have time for homework. I’ll one day teach my son how to draw and be the most fun dad that I can be as well as help him with his homework. It’s all good.
Family Movie Night. In 3D!
Growing up is just something that we have to do. While it might be hard, it’s an important step that we all take. And now is my time. So when I start to worry about how I might be losing all those fun things I used to do when I was younger, I remember that my fun is about more than just me now. My fun comes from being a good dad and husband. Having real world responsibilities can be scary and stressful, but having a family to make life as great as mine is makes all of the stress and worry of being a grown up worth it.