Part of being a good parent is having a healthy family, and part of having a healthy family is being a good husband. Being a good husband isn’t always easy and there are inevitably going to be times when life’s stresses will put you to the test. Unfortunately, life has proven that sometimes said stress is going to come from the one person in whom you depend on and care for most in the world, your spouse.
It’s unavoidable that you’re going to fight with your wife (or husband) at some point and it’s gonna be a real kick in the ass. Now the title of this article is a bit misleading because ‘winning’ a fight is not what it seems at face value. This isn’t like taking on M. Bison or Mother Brain. Your wife doesn’t have a health bar or a finishing move. No, instead what you really need to focus on is fighting in a way where ultimately there was a purpose behind it. In my experience there really is no such thing as a good fight, because if it’s come to the point where you’re fighting then you probably screwed up communicating effectively with each other in the first place (way to go dip-shit). But hey, you’re fighting now so you’d better at least focus and pay attention, right?
Each fight is about something, even if it seems like you’re fighting for no reason at all. Maybe the reason is absolutely insane. But even when it seems like the fight is pointless there is always something there that lit the fuse, and that is important. Maybe it happened when they were at work, maybe they’re upset with something that has nothing to do with you and you’re just there, maybe you acted like an A-hole towards them and didn’t realize it. Who cares? You’re wife or husband (or yourself) is burnt out and now you’re engaged you in a fight. Now it’s time to win. And winning a fight means finding out what it was all about and figuring out how to make it better.
My first tip for guys (or girls) trying to win a fight is the hardest thing to do, “Don’t Make it Personal”. If your spouse is upset or fuming or just bothered, try to understand that before you take it too personally. Even though they may seem like they want to burn holes in you with their eyes, you know deep down that you two mean more to each other than anyone else on the whole planet other than your children… or Shigeru Miyamoto. But he’s not here right now so leave him out of it. Understand that the fight will pass, and these feelings are only temporary. So don’t get wrapped up in “What’s her problem?” or “Why’s she acting like this towards me?! I didn’t do anything!“. As a husband we promise to be there for our wives through everything, including moments where they want to crush us under the weight of a cement truck.
Tip number two is: don’t say anything that you know you’ll regret. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t be a dickhead. When you’re fighting you usually have that devil and angel on your shoulder moment where you think something before you say it. Those are good. Use those moments because if you say something that you know for a fact is mean or uncalled for you’re going to regret it and chances are your spouse is going to remember it for the rest of your life. They may not mention it again for a long time, but that’s probably because they’re waiting to hit you with it on your deathbed.
“Hey honey, remember when you called me fat 42 years ago? Well… enjoy eternity.”
And my final tip might be the most important. ALWAYS make sure you end the fight. Give her a hug. Tell her you love her. Apologize. A lot of people think that apologizing means you’re admitting fault or that you were wrong. You don’t have to be wrong, but you do have to say you’re sorry for the fact that the fight happened in the first place. Remember, a fight happens because there’s a breakdown in communication and it all just implodes. So the best way to end a fight is to build that communication and trust back up again by letting her know you love her and you’re sorry.
As a married couple we all have so much that we struggle with. Whether it’s work, finances, family issues, Mario Kart 8 on 150cc or even our children. Being an adult can be really hard and stressful. But the best part about being married is that you’re teamed up with someone who knows you better than anyone else, and who cares about you more than anyone else, and who knows just the right moment to deploy a blue shell. Make good use of that because it’s really special. And remember, fights are going to happen. It doesn’t mean that the two of you are doomed, just that you need a better strategy. So work together to figure out how to win those battles.
What is your strategy for winning? Share with the Mega Dads Community in the comments section. We always appreciate great community feedback! Have a great rest of your week! … And I LOVE YOU, HONEY!
This week’s speed painting is another request! Thanks to everyone who is sharing what they want to see in the Mega Dads gallery. Goro from the Mortal Kombat series is today’s entry. What would you like to see next time? Let us know in the comments section below!