This weekend is Father’s Day. The one day of the year set aside for the entire world to bask in our awesomeness. To marvel at our limitless wisdom and unmatched skills. A day for our families to worship at the altar of our paternal power. And to give us Hallmark cards with beer and fart jokes.
In honor of this holiest of holidays, I present to you the list of the most awesome fathers in all of video games. Fatherhood is a common theme in gaming but these digital dads rise to to top as the best of the best. Shining examples of parenting prowess. Enjoy!
(warning: may contain some story spoilers)
King Koopa has a tough gig. If constantly trying to kidnap Princess Peach and take over the Mushroom Kingdom doesn’t sound like enough of a handful, try doing it as the single father of eight rowdy kids! He somehow manages to find time for his many hobbies (go-karting, tennis, golf) while still taking the time to spend with his family. Now THAT’S commitment!
The King of all Cosmos
In Katamari Damacy, The King of all Cosmos goes on a bit of a bender and destroys all of the stars and constellations in the universe. Whoopsie daisy. To fix this galactic goof up he tasks his son The Prince with rolling up everything in sight with his Katamari to recreate the celestial bodies and restore order. All the while mocking his son for both his small stature and for when his efforts fall short. Hmm. Come to think of it he’s kind of a horrible father. But he’s got crazy good style so he stays on the list.
Dr. Thomas Light wanted a family so bad he built his own! In the year 200X, Dr. Light is the world’s leading scientist in the field of robotics and creates a family of robots including Rock, Roll and the family dog Rush. After the evil Dr. Wily threatens the world with his own army of robots, Dr. Light transforms Rock into the hero Mega Man. He even helps by providing new weapons and inventions to help Mega Man in his battle against Wily. If that’s not a supportive, involved dad I don’t know what is!
Father / Son relationships can be complicated. Sometimes fathers set unrealistic expectations on their sons. Sometimes they can be emotionally distant or detached making it hard to form a meaningful bond. And sometimes your sons are genetically modified clones of yourself and you try and murder them. That must make the Boy Scout campouts super awkward.
Joel’s story is the ultimate tragedy. After suffering the unspeakable trauma of losing a child he spirals into despair and loathing. When Ellie comes into his life he’s given a second chance and develops a close bond with the girl. And in the end, when faced with an unspeakable decision he gives everything for her. Including a part of his soul. …..$#!%. Now I’m just depressed.
Adopting a child is a brave, selfless move that I admire greatly. It’s especially brave when you adopt a child you find on the side of the road. And then that child turns out to be the daughter of an evil woman who rips her child’s soul in two creating two separate children while trying to resurrect her dark god. And then that child is re-combined into one baby who you decide to raise as your own until you’re brutally murdered by The Order which is still trying to resurrect the dark god. Damn, that’s almost as depressing as Joel.
The King of Red Lions
Many parents make sacrifices for their children. Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule turns into a boat to save his daughter. Yup. He turns into a freaking boat. That’s way less depressing than the last two dads. In fact it’s downright charming.
So Happy Father’s Day to all the awesome dads out there! Thanks for doing such an awesome job and keep up the good work.