Don’t blow it, Nintendo

Let me begin by saying I am a huge Nintendo fan and often an apologist when I really shouldn’t be. Now with that said… WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING, NINTENDO?!!!

This morning I woke up to the announcement of a brand new iteration of the 2DS. Yes, the 2DS. Remember that thing that nobody over the age of 8 gave a flying turd about? Well, apparently that was worth reinvesting in. Typically when Nintendo releases a new worthless revision on hardware that was just fine to begin with I just look the other way with a “if I don’t like it, I won’t buy it” attitude, but this is different. Now I’m pissed, and I’ll tell you why.

1- NES Classic. Nintendo had a smash success with NES mini. Everyone wanted one, everyone was talking about it, there was insane buzz and hype for this machine… so of course Nintendo killed it. The NES mini is officially discontinued and only about 12 people got one. I’ve been listening to Nintendo fans try to defend this move by saying it was in service of focusing on Switch. That this move would ensure that Switch is a success by not having another hardware on the market to distract consumers away from the next big thing. Well… theory debunked. Sorry guys.

2- Nintendo Switch. As an early adopter of Switch I am dumbfounded by how this new hardware release attempts to undercut Switch sales. Why in the name of god would you try to confuse the common consumer about what ‘new’ Nintendo handheld they should invest in? It is absolutely maddening. You would think the WiiU messaging nightmare would have taught Nintendo to be clear and concise with their consumers, but clearly that is not the case. Put that on top of the fact that Switch hardware has seen its fair share of growing pains with scratched screens, crappy Joy Cons, and even systems MELTING in the dock (I had all 3 happen to me by the way). I just can’t understand why you wouldn’t put this money into bettering the Switch if you have extra hardware development money and resources available to you.

I just want Nintendo to focus. Every time they seem to be on track they fall ass-over-elbows backwards. This isn’t that hard. Just pick a direction and go that way. As a Switch owner I am still waiting for an online service, an Eshop that isn’t a complete joke, and an exclusive game for my system. Today I will pick up only my 2nd game for the system, Mario Kart 8, which like my one other game (Zelda) is also available on WiiU. Nintendo with this move just sends another signal that not only are they not 100% behind Switch, but they are completely clueless about what their fans want.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s some hidden plan here that I’m not seeing. But you know what? F*ck that. As a consumer it is not my job to decode Nintendo’s intent and business model. In this business perception matters. Just ask Microsoft how they’re doing this console generation with public opinion on their business practices. Right now my opinion of Nintendo is that they don’t have a clue what they’re doing. They better figure it out fast because the honeymoon phase with Switch is coming to a close for me as Zelda is wrapping up and my PS4 has been calling my name.

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