Nintendo Mega Bits: May 2021

Good day, Nintendo aficionados! It’s time for the May 2021 edition of Nintendo Mega Bits! Jonny Casino, your friend and mine, cannot be here this month, so now you get a hot dose of Will to help make the Nintendo news go down smoothly. This month, we’ve got a new, problematic amiibo, a game that helps you make games, Katy Perry, a Mario Golf Super Rush overview trailer, another round of Nintendo Switch Online disappointments, and lots and lots of my boy Waluigi. Let’s dive in!

News You May or May Not Use

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is coming to Nintendo Switch on July 16, and it’s going to do so with a brand new amiibo! The new amiibo, featuring Zelda and a loftwing, is beautiful to look at, but has a dark secret. Locked behind this new amiibo is the ability to transport between the ground and sky realms of Skyward Sword. Tap the amiibo, confirm you want to fast travel, and boom, you’ve moved from the ground to the sky or vice versa. You can even teleport out of dungeons! But just to reiterate, this quality of life feature is ONLY available via the Zelda and Loftwing amiibo, and in my experience getting new amiibo is often easier said than done. If that isn’t bad enough, the thing costs a whopping $25! I’ll be honest, I snagged a preorder, but I’m also a sucker for pretty amiibo (like Waluigi).

Pictured: the evils of capitalism

Game Builder Garage was announced at the beginning of the month, to help anyone become a game programmer. Game Builder Garage groups types of actions or objects together into nodes, called “nodons” in-game, and how players connect the nodons together (like connecting an analog stick or button node to a person object) helps shape the project! The announcement and overview trailers showed a variety of different games you can make in Game Builder Garage, ranging from shooters, to platformers, and more. If things still seem too daunting, there will be guided lessons available to help build your skills and ease you into Game Builder Garage’s methodology. Game Builder Garage is coming to Nintendo Switch on June 11, and I will build Waluigi the game he deserves.

A collaboration with Katy Perry was one of the first things the Pokémon Company advertised when announcing plans for Pokémon’s 25th Anniversary. The song, Electric, is finally here and it’s a hell of a lot better than that Post Malone concert was. The video features Katy Perry and her(?) Pikachu as they wander around a beach and lighthouse, and also try to encourage a young singer and their Pichu to enter a talent show. Katy is weirdly concerned with being unseen while encouraging the young singer, leading me to wonder if this is some kind of Back to the Future kind of setup. Also notable is the absence of Raichu, the final form in the Pikachu line. But Raichu-phobia has been around as long as the original Pokémon anime.

Hitting the Links in a Hurry

The biggest Nintendo news this month has to be the heaping scoop of information revealed about Mario Golf Super Rush in a new overview trailer. Starting with the most mundane, Super Rush will feature optional motion controls in a move that surprises absolutely no one. The roster will feature 15 iconic Mario characters, including Waluigi, and also a Chargin’ Chuck. Speaking of our perfect, special man, Waluigi’s golf outfit was (finally) revealed and it is just glorious. Courses will range from your typical golf course, to some courses with a good deal more…Mario baked in, like a desert or Bowser’s castle.

Look at my special man.

The “Speed Golf” mode was detailed, in which everyone golfs at the same time in an effort to be the first to get their ball in the hole. Power-ups and stamina refills litter courses, making the mad dash to your ball feel like something like Mario Kart rather than a Sunday afternoon outing. Character-specific special dashes exist to both get you down the fairway faster and impede your opponents from doing so. For example, Waluigi does a flashy pirouette that is as damaging as it is breathtaking. There are also special shots that can move another player’s balls if they get caught in the impact zone. Waluigi’s special shot was not detailed. Speed Golf rules apply to a new Battle Golf mode as well, wherein players are placed in a single arena with multiple holes, and the first to three holes wins.

Finally, Mario Golf Super Rush will also feature a “Golf Adventure” mode. Golf Adventure looks to be a RPG-style mode where players make a Mii character and complete challenges to level up their stats. Challenges range from straightforward holes of golf, to trying to get your ball to land inside of a giant pot, and I’m sure there’s some way crazier shit in there toward the end. Golf Adventure will include boss battles as well, with a fight with a firebird shown. Waluigi was confirmed to exist in Golf Adventure mode, though his exact role is unknown. Mario Golf Super Rush releases on June 25.

A Nasty Man & a Nasty Subscription Plan

Before we discuss the worst news of the month, let’s discuss the best news. In a promotional video for a new, blue Nintendo Switch Lite, a new render of Waluigi was shown! I can only describe the pose as “highly erotic” or “sexually charged”. Waluigi’s ass is out, his back is arched, and he’s doing this thing with his tongue that perverts do when they try to imply they know how to eat pussy. (Waluigi definitely knows how to eat pussy). Waluigi’s left hand is behind his head, and his right holds a long-stemmed red rose angled seductively toward that nasty tongue. Waluigi was unavailable for comment, probably because he was busy getting biz-ay.

You know you want him.

I can’t avoid it anymore, as much as I want to. It’s time to talk about Nintendo Switch Online. Specifically, the new batch of titles coming to the Super Nintendo and NES libraries NSO offers its subscribers. The Super Nintendo titles coming in May are Joe & Mac, Magical Drop II, Spanky’s Quest, and Super Baseball Simulator 1.000, and the NES gets Ninja JaJaMaru-kun. I promise, I didn’t make any of those up. No, Earthbound is still not available. Magical Drop II looks like fun, though.

I can’t let you go home with that bad taste in your mouth. I need to give you something to lift your spirits. I’m gonna hit you with two game suggestions. If you’re looking to have some high-intensity fun, play Monster Hunter Rise. If you want something more chill, give New Pokémon Snap a whirl. Either way, make sure to give me a shout over at @WondrousWill on twitter to show me those poké pics or invite me to your hunting party. Until next month, keep on Switchin’!

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