Chapter Four: Butt Hair Soup
The Heroes swiftly collected all of the necessary ingredients for Tony's potion. Antonio sponged up the Centaur Piss with ease, Will recalled the ending of Stepmom starring Susan Sarandon to conjure up the required tears of a virgin, and Berto took charge of acquiring the final ingredient.
"Don't worry, guys! I've got this!" He bellowed as he charged at the monstrous Ogre standing in the center of the cell. Berto at the last possible moment dropped to his knees and slid swiftly beneath the legs of Bubbles the Ogre, plucking 7 wiry butt hairs from the depth of of its nether regions. "GOT'EM!"
Without a second to lose Tony mixed the ingredients in a flask and muttered an enchantment. "This should do the trick." He exhaled as he flung the flask with all of his might against the far wall.
There was a spark of light and a wisp of green smoke, but no explosion. The team stared in disbelief at the lack of reaction from the potion that was meant to secure their escape.
"I don't understand... Centaur piss, Ogre butt-hair and tears of a virgin. That should have worked." Tony muttered.
"I'm not a virgin." Will interjected. "You thought I was a virgin? We're literally called the 'MEGA DADS'... Come on."
Tony looked into Will's eyes in panic. "Oh shit." He spat out.
No sooner than the words escaped his lips did the wisp of smoke crack into a large swirling vortex. A rift opened in the center of it with a flash of light. Energy charged the air and the rift created a vacuum in its center, pulling our heroes towards it.
"What's happening?" Antonio shouted as he was swallowed into the magical rift.
"It's an inter-dimensional portal!" Tony shouted. "I know not where it leads!"
One-by-one our heroes were pulled into the rift, leaving only Bubbles the Ogre standing in the cell. "WAIT FOR ME GUYS, YOU TOOK MY BEST BUTT HAIRS!" Bubbles shouted as he jumped into the rift.
